Alice Cooper – "The Revenge Of Alice Cooper"

Children and newbies will not understand this

The last time we heard from Alice Cooper was on 2023's fine little rock star touring concept album "Road". This time around, we're dealing with something much more extraordinary than a concept album: A goddamn reunion album from the original Alice Cooper band consisting of, apart form the man himself, Michael Bruce (guitar), Dennis Dunaway (bass guitar), and Neal Smith (drums). (Deceased guitarist Glen Buxton is represented on various tracks in the way of hitherto unreleased recordings.)

Apart from various one-offs on some of The Coop's later solo outings, the last time this pack recorded a full LP together was "Muscle of Love" in 1973. At that time, The Coop himself was still an alcoholic mess who'd probably never even dreamt he'd be taking up golf one day. Yours truly was years and years away from being even thought of yet. Motörhead wasn't even formed yet. AIDS did not yet exist.

Kinda makes you think. And kinda makes you wanna go back.

And that's exactly what we're doing here: Going back. A result of +70-year-old buddies recording their first full album together after more than five fucking decades, "The Revenge of Alice Cooper" is a retrospective deal more than anything else. If you're expecting the clear-cut, glammed-up, stadium-sized, Desmond Child-co-written Alice Cooper of the late '80s and beyond, you might be disappointed.

But in a world with the available means of researching up front what you'd rightly expect, as is the case, you'd be dumb for thinking like that. And either way, you'd be ignorant for not knowing the classic Alice Cooper albums. And you'd be an ignorant for not knowing – and loving – the classic songs by the artists that this collection of tunes evidently resembles.

For example, "Famous Face" is clearly a late-born sibling to this little 1971 ditty, name of "Locomotive Breath". "Up All Night", relating an action-packed night out in NYC, is clearly a late-born sibling to this little 1979 ditty, name of "Highway to Hell". And slacker hymn "Crap That Gets in the Way of Your Dreams" is clearly a late-born sibling to this little 1964 ditty, name of "All Day and All of the Night".

Actual, organic musical instruments played by actual, organic human beings. Yeah, what a concept for a music album, right?

Some of them sound like artists rather than specific tunes. "What Happened To You?", for example, rocks some clear Chuck Berry vibes. "Money Screams" echoes early Ramones or lather Iggy Pop solo albums. "What a Syd" is smooth Cab Calloway-style Chicago blues. And of course, and among several other tracks, "Blood on the Sun" sounds like something from the original albums by the Alice Cooper band – think "Ballad of Dwight Fry".

As much as this album, then, is a retrospective deal in the sense that it revisits and plays with expressions from the golden age of Rock itself (capital R), "The Revenge of Alice Cooper" is just as much a retrospective deal in the sense that it's conceived and performed by people who grew up during said age. And it shows: We're not dealing with young prodigies about to take on the world here. Indeed, just like The Coop himself was never exactly any Freddie Mercury, his old band members seemingly haven't been spending the in-between decades practicing their respective instruments for this occasion.

The guitar solos, for example, rarely have much going for them in the way of dynamics, evolution, or even melody, rather than simply filling out 12 bars, because that's kinda what we normally do around this part. And when writing notes for each tune as I normally do during the final pre-review album spin, I noted that some of the drum fills were "cute".

In fact, a lot of this helping sounds like pure jam. And I wouldn't be surprised to learn that it is. "I Ain't Done Wrong" seems like it's a live one-take. Also the slow, leaned-back, semi-funky vintage acid rock of opener "Black Mamba" smells like rehearsal room rather than recording studio. 

You'd be ignorant for not knowing the classic Alice Cooper albums. And you'd be an ignorant for not knowing – and loving – the classic songs by the artists that this collection of tunes evidently resembles.

While this does not make for a very elegant end product, it most certainly makes for an end product with its heart in the right place. Whereas on all too many releases today, you're not hearing actual instruments rather than digitally homogenized tracks of copy/pasted resemblances of something that may once have been played by a human being on an actual instrument, that's exactly what you're getting here: Actual, organic musical instruments played by actual, organic human beings. Yeah, what a concept for a music album, right?

The drums sound like actual animal skins. The string instruments sound like actual nickel-wound steel. Fuck, you can actually sense the goddamn bass guitar tone! Shit, even the lead guitar sounds like the reverb is analog. Be honest: How often do any of these qualities immediately spring to mind when you're listening to any newer mainstream release these days?

As for the vocals, of course… Yeah, I mean, it's Alice Cooper. Repeating myself, we all know he was never exactly Queen material. But unlike with all the tiresome Taylor Swifts and Miley Cyruses of this accursed century, there is still nobody that sounds like Uncle Coop. Just like with the man's visual likeness, that nasal sneer of his is nowhere near pretty. And perhaps that's exactly what contributes to making it human and relatable.

Those two exact qualities – human and relatable – contemporary music lacks like a desert lacks rain. But those qualities are all over this album. You will not find a lot here in the way of meticulous elegance, dynamics, new classics, or aptitude worth of mention. But you will find real human beings who play real musical instruments. In the name of friendships older than yourself; in the name of the raddest musical expression that ever was; in the name of having fun. And in the name of those who are no longer among us. Closing Glen Buxton tribute "See You on the Other Side" stands as a testament to all these qualities.

For all this, I will more than gladly up my rating by one out of twelve.

Rating: 4.5 out of 6

Genre: Rock / hard rock
Release date: 25/7/2025
Label: earMUSIC
Producer: Bob Ezrin