Machine Head – "Unatøned"
10-07-2025
Album reviews
Arch Enemy – "Blood Dynasty"
27-06-2025
During the review of which, we discuss the phenomenon of opportune catchiness level
During the review of which, I coin the term "goblin rap"
Lordi – "Limited Deadition"
03-06-2025
Fans of hard rock and horror puns, unite!
Warbringer – "Wrath And Ruin"
28-05-2025
"Nothing left to say – swing the hammer away!"
Raging Speedhorn – "Night Wolf"
22-05-2025
Anyone up for a boogie with Satan?
Destruction – "Birth of Malice"
17-05-2025
In fact, why don't we ever talk about that 5th album...?
Avantasia – "Here Be Dragons"
05-05-2025
"Nonsense! There hasn't been a dragon in these parts for a thousand years"
Brainstorm – "Plague of Rats"
21-04-2025
... But their name makes me think of college group assignments
Thundermother – "Dirty & Divine"
11-04-2025
An open letter to the world's biggest hope for hard rock music
Dream Theater – "Parasomnia"
04-04-2025
Seriously, Nicholas, open your eyes already
Night Flight Orchestra – "Give Us The Moon"
20-03-2025
Album of the year, and it's not even metal
Pentagram – "Lightning In a Bottle"
11-03-2025
Does it still count as the same band, though...?
The Hellacopters – "Overdriver"
24-02-2025
"It's called writing a goddamn song"
Grave Digger – "Bone Collector"
10-02-2025
"Hallo, I am ze bone kollektoar; I haf komm to inspäkt your ekvipmänt, jaah?"
Opeth – "The Last Will and Testament"
16-01-2025
So... am I supposed to remember any of this?
Devin Townsend – "PowerNerd"
19-12-2024
Most accurate album title since "British Steel"
An injured predator, and so fucking fierce
Jerry Cantrell – "I Want Blood"
29-11-2024
And I'd be happy to give you some of mine, Jerry
The Crown – "Crown of Thorns"
21-11-2024
This is pretty much organized auditive violence
D-A-D – "Speed Of Darkness"
14-11-2024
[Insert Flogging Molly joke here]
HammerFall – "Avenge the Fallen"
30-10-2024
No, it's not fucking power metal, and neither is Manowar.
Orden Ogan – "The Order of Fear"
25-10-2024
Praise the kings of the underworld!
Cavalera – "Schizophrenia"
07-10-2024
This year, a slighter rectification of slighter problems
Black Country Communion – "V"
30-09-2024
"Vee have vays of raacking your face off, jaa?"
Nile – "The Underworld Awaits Us All"
23-09-2024
If you think you're in a river in Egypt, you're in deNile...
Kerry King – "From Hell I Rise"
11-08-2024
Here's a fun little drinking game
Sebastian Bach – "Child Within the Man"
09-08-2024
You're probably not gonna believe this
Riot V – "Mean Streets"
08-08-2024
Yes, still with that weird seal thingy mascot
Dååth – "The Deceivers"
07-08-2024