To reiterate: Not everything is metal

As always after a Copenhell, I hereby marshal a small commentary describing my impression of the festival, the overall atmosphere, its musical high points, and any not-so-high points. Only this year, I haven't been around as much as normally. For the following reasons:

1. As mentioned in some of my reviews, I was alcohol-free. Still am. Kinduva personal challenge to myself, but also related to the next point.
2. Lot of changes going on in my life this year. Been like that ever since I went digital nomad. But these days, weeks, and months, I'm guarding my resources and focusing them in a more professional direction to build a more daring, ambitious, and irreplaceable career for myself as AI is chomping away at my translation gig.

As such, being at a festival was a bit of an inconvenience. Shit, I'd actually rather have worked. And this is coming from a man who's been going to festivals religiously for 28 goddamn years.

That said, it was still wonderful to catch up with the old and older friends who were there. For those of you reading this, jeg elsker jer allesammen. (That's Danish for I managed to bring the squirrels back alive.)

Musically, this year's program was perhaps the most polarized I've ever experienced at a festival.

At one end, we had titans who've been co-creating the very soul of metal and its subgenres as we know them today. And those titans triumphed.

In the world of straight-up, undiluted heavy fucking metal, for example, good old Saxon insistingly turned a long haul of standing out as the tribe elders into a viciously victorious seduction of everyone around the Hades stage area on the fourth, otherwise scorching day. And almighty Iron Maiden, in spite of the same few surface-level foibles as their aforementioned colleagues, took us on a blessed Memory Lane tour de force with a show that magically infused new life into their, as it is, already life-infusing evergreens. And holy shit, they played "Infinite Dreams". Seriously doubting I can see them again after that.

In the world of thrash, a fiery Anthrax wasted nary a second, treating us with classic upon classic sprinkled with both newer material and wonderful deep cut "Keep it in the Family", played exactly as it should – as though their lives depended on it. Also Sepultura allegedly gave an equal parts passionate and career-summarizing farewell show to their Danish fans, justifying the group's many creative duds since main man Max Cavalera left – around when yours truly started going to festivals.

This year, Volbeat, even in all their meat-and-potatoes ambience, was the least mainstream-leaning of the problematic bookings.

In death metal, we got Six Feet Under, amazing local rising stars Neckbreakker, something called Gatecreeper, and… nobody else? Unless you count Soilwork as such. But I was there, and they sounded way too clean and streamlined to qualify. So that was a bit thin. And apart from something called Gaera, black metal didn't have much representation either. Although there was that Blood Fire Death show commemorating Bathory, which I was told was absolutely blinding.

In terms of doom, the local ladies in Konvent got to draw fans of that, but just like black metal, neither was it very represented nor is it exactly a festival genre. (Also, there was Eyehategod playing on top of Saxon – shitty planning.) In prog, Queensrÿche were a bit introverted and had a severe emphasis on Minor-key atmospheres, but won by sheer technical professionalism and just plain great songs – both in terms of quality and sound. And, on a bit of common ground thereto, A Perfect Circle gave a superior display of focused, patient, and masterfully executed art rock – possibly the sharpest-sounding concert Copenhell has ever heard apart from Tool.

Mean ol' grandpa Alice Cooper cemented his 5+ decade oeuvre as an all-round entertainer and performer with equal parts bangers, deep cuts, and his usual theatrical shenanigans. Seen 'em before; would happily do it again. And staying in the wonderful world of hard rock, we were supposed to get Twisted Sister. But instead, we got a show with the misleading classifications of "anniversary" and "all-star", starting with a handful of B- and C-level artists playing some wonderful classics, but slowly degenerating into a half-hour DJ time-waste and a purely electronic mockery of everything that Black Sabbath created.

This brings me on to the other end of aforemenntioned polar spectrum, where the serious problems lie. Starting with the less serious one, I can accept something like Trivium being on the bill of something like Copenhell since they actually have some badass sections in between those bileful sugary pop choruses of theirs. Because historically, metal bands have not rarely incorporated elements from popular rock music in their songwriting – writing fucking songs after all, and having their origin in rock music itself.

But I can not and will never accept a sterile whimper show like fucking Papa Roach.

Because goddammit, whining is the antithesis to metal. If you ever considered yourself metal because for some perverted reason you dug that pathetic emo hymn with that chorus going "I'm rUnNinG AnD I'm CrY-YYYYY-IIIIING", you do not understand what the genre is all about. I don't care if they made anything that hauled any ass after that; if you kickstart your career on calculated crying and a blatant, half-assed rehash of what may have been a Maiden riff, you are exploiting my culture, you abominable backstabber.

Same thing goes for the Jesus bullshit of P.O.D. – another neatly polished and family-friendly forgery of our otherwise majestic music, as though designed to pander to the same wretched U.S. high school emos who are into aforementioned pest patriarchs. And designed is exactly how that inane "Babymetal" thing comes off on all levels. Oh, you infernal ignorants, that is not a band. It is very fucking plainly a stylized concept marketed toward the geeky 20-something-year-old supposed headbangers who also don Gloryhammer patches on their 1-year-old battle vest and who've thoughtfully decided to take a disproportionate interest in popular culture from Japan and South Korea, no matter how nonsensical.

But allegedly, there was one group worse than every other blemish on the entire program. Something so plastic-y and jock fratboy pandering that anything else pales in comparison. According to my co-reviewer, the so-called "Bring Me the Horizon" amounted to an "anal rape of an entire culture". With a name like that, I obviously and deliberately refrained from witnessing it, but he said I would've wept if I did.

There was a time when I loved Copenhell because the management seemed to have too much integrity to even consider Denmark's own Volbeat for the line-up – indeed, booking Michael Poulsen's death metal side project Asinhell before them. But this year, Volbeat, even in all their meat-and-potatoes ambience, was the least mainstream-leaning of the problematic bookings.

With an almost 40K-attendee volume in a scrawny bitty country like Denmark, it might seem like the genre is doing better than ever. But when you look at the elements of the actual fucking music today compared to then – elements like production, songwriting, melody, relative originality, and, not the least of all, whether any goddamn metal riffs are present – it gets more and more obvious that real metal is dying. If this is the sorry way things are gonna keep going, I'm not sure to what extent I feel comfortable identifying myself as a headbanger henceforth. Hell, I'm not even sure if it's worth it trying to salvage what's left of the once so wondrous genre.

Then, of course, there were otherwise great names that I just didn't watch due to aforementioned priorities – aside from regular work. Though being hangover-free by extent of alcohol-free, 1:30 p.m. is still too early for me to see a concert on a weekday. So no Black Label Society this time – an otherwise solid example of bona fide metal on a festival dedicated to such. Chose work ahead of Rival Sons as well. And ahead of Tom Morello. In fact, ahead of too many things to name them.

Metal's attitude is not whiny, but carnal. If metal has any social task or project, it is not to act as a political outlet for victim-minded neo-hippies, but to awaken pure power in those who possess it.

So there was a dichotomy between, on one side, the laudable veterans whom we owe everything, and on the other, the traitors streamlined along U.S. style consumer culture like soft drinks. But there was, of course, also the bottom of the barrel. All those 6 months-old rehearsal room bands in the line-up footnote section. And from where I'm standing, those most of all look like one big DiVErsiTy quota being checked off, tick mark after virtue-signaling tick mark.

Now, if by some magical means, nobody'd been feeling triggered reading this so far, that's exactly what'd happen right now. Well, go ahead and be triggered, you sorry excuse for yourself. But at least understand that an artistic expression like metal music is plainly not created to rub any popular movements their preferred way or to please anyone's delicate sensibilities. Metal is the irreverent shadow to everything that's nice and pleasing about popular music.

Metal's attitude is not whiny, but carnal. If it has any social task or project, it is not to act as a political outlet for victim-minded neo-hippies, but to awaken pure power in those who possess it. Those who dare go their own way, not giving their fucks about iNcLuSiOn, but about carving their own path according to their own vision.

But here we fucking are, our once so awesome culture being watered down by wimps, whiners, Jesus dweebs, DJs, and the lowest-common-denominator worship of Linkin Shitzkit™.

The equal parts sad and funny thing is, it's actually entirely possible to incorporate both electronic music and a lot of other DiVErSe elements in a setting like Copenhell without compromising on integrity. I understood, for example, that Japan's Violent Magic Orchestra delivered a breathtaking display of musical extremity infused with enough electronic elements to power a working day at Google. And I remember in 2024 when St. Digue took us on an equal parts unsettling and beautiful darkwave journey – that belonged on a festival like this because it was gloomy and mysterious, not whiny or pandering.

Is this really so hard to grasp?

In fact, aforementioned A Perfect Circle is this year's greatest example of a non-metal band that easily fits the bill without compromise. Because they never tried being something they're not or followed any trends, but always cut a creative edge and followed artistic integrity. Of all combinations of honorable qualities, that one should have its rightful home in metal of all places. Vogue speculation, on the other hand, should obviously not.

But again, here we damn well are.

Shit, I'd actually rather have worked. And this is coming from a man who's been going to festivals religiously for 28 goddamn years.

I am sick and tired of witnessing my culture and the closest thing I ever had to a religion getting castrated, eroded, commercialized, and politicized. Tired of not being able to do more than point out what seems so obvious to me, thereby risking getting the 'whiner' classification myself.

Because that's also the default category whenever somebody complains about a festival program, right? And Hell, I totally understand. Simply spewing bile about what everyone else is celebrating has never added anything constructive or valuable. Nobody likes directionless moaning.

But what I'm hoping sets this apart, then, is that I am trying my damndest here to point out how not everything is metal, and not everything belongs on a metal festival. Just like I did in 2024 when Linkin Shitzkit™ was on the bill.

And I am not buying into that predictable cop-out point about how "that's just the way things are going" and "every old generation always complains about what the younger generation is into". Just because something evolves in a certain direction doesn't automatically mean it's positive.

And what if someone from that older generation actually has a point?

I like to think I do. And here it is in bullet-point form, because that's the kind of easily digestible format that people want these days, right?

• Metal is not about following musical trends or pandering towards uncritical consumers of popular music. Metal is about defiance, attitude, integrity, and contrasting the mainstream.
  
  
• Metal is not about whimpering over teenage angst and existential confusion. Metal is about that glorious moment of power and energy surging through one's entire being and sparking one's inner will and vigor.
  
  
• Metal culture is not supposed to be a vehicle for socio-political movements, be it a big rainbow-colored DiVeRSiTY party or the exact opposite. Metal encompasses both collectivistic community AND individualistic elitism – and, as such, transcends both.
  
  
• And last, but not least: Metal is not jock-marketed wigger hip-hop with brain cell-corroding lyrics about doing it all for the "nookie" or about rollin' rollin' rollin' rollin' rollin'. Fucking retards.

I don't think I'll be coming back next year. Perhaps if they get Judas Priest and/or Savatage I'll consider it. But if not, I'll conclude this with an ending verse by the artist from whom exactly Priest got their name:

"So long, honeybabe
Where I'm bound, I can't tell
Goodbye's too good a word, babe
So I'll just say, "Fare thee well"
I ain't saying you treated me unkind
You could've done better, but I don't mind
You just kinda wasted my precious time
But don't think twice, it's all right"

Thanks for reading.
If, in spite of everything, you liked this article, you can support a metal brother by buying me a coffee.

Rating: 4 out of 6

Genre: Metal / hard rock / pseudo-metal / poser metal
Dates: June 24th, 25th, 26th, and 27th, 2026
Location: Refshaleøen, Copenhagen, Denmark

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